Some quick numbers for ya:
2,348 miles away from home. 4 concerts attended. 2 festivals worked. 30+ Lyft rides taken.
1 new full time job. 2 new roommates.
So, it’s been a little over a month since I moved to L.A. and…it’s been A LOT. Arguably, the most drastic thing I’ve done so far, I am definitely feeling all the emotions that happen in a change like this. I’ve had this idea of moving to California for a couple years now. It all started when I first flew out to Cali to work Coachella in 2016. Working in the music industry, the top locations to be in are either New York or Los Angeles. Having been to New York a few times, I decided that it’s a place I’d visit but not want to live in. Having never been to L.A. up until this year, I had this idea of what’d it be like. Wanting to grow in music, I figured taking this leap would only help progress this budding career of mine. There’s sooo much to this city that it’s overwhelming. I started this thing where whenever something out of my norm happens here, I text my friends:
It has a lot of truth to it though! (I could go on a rant about Bird Scooters). Just in this small amount of time, I’ve gotten a peak as to why people move here, why people move out of here, and a bit of everything in between. I’m thankful to have found a sublease situation with a friend of mine a few days after I got my job offer. Still getting used to this new city and neighborhood, I’m slowly adjusting. Last week I went on my first run around the neighborhood and didn’t clench my pepper spray the whole time (talk about progress!). It’s the little things like this that are starting to happen. Knowing how I am, I know settling in will take some time. There have been so many thoughts of, “was this the right decision?”, “do I want to move back home?” ,”what if I don’t like it here?” running through my head. With that being said, it’s no surprise my anxiety has been all over the place (thank you to those who let me vent on a daily basis). Somehow though, I’m still waking up each day and choosing to continue on this journey. As difficult it may be, I’m pushing through. I do feel proud in that sense. Back home I felt so stagnant in my situation that I daydreamed of how things could be different. Wondered what’d it be like for your job to see your worth, wandered on weekend trips whenever possible to get away from it all, and had this gut feeling that change was coming soon.
And so it has, and I’m embracing all that I can at my own pace.
I knew coming into 2018, something had to give. Something had to change. After a rough New Years for me, I started to make a list of resolutions and goals I wanted for myself. One of those goals I may or may not have sneakingly put was, “Move to *******.” The asterisks blocked out California, since I’ve kept this idea pretty low key. Writing this down was another way of me putting this concept into the universe. I had been talking about it for a while and back at home it didn’t feel like there was much left for me there. As it grew closer to April, I knew my best shot at getting any traction would be to make more connections at Coachella. It’d be my third time working the festival and pretty much majority of the staff I work with lives in L.A. All it took was one conversation for someone to tell me about an opening that after 3 interviews, is the job I have now. The day I received the call about my job offer, I took a moment to breathe and instantly started crying because it felt like a such a relief. I actually did it. This dream was now a reality.
Settling into this reality has been a challenge, no doubt. I’ve been homesick, at times lonely, and super aware of my surroundings. While I don’t necessarily miss Virginia, I miss being able to see my family and friends on a daily basis. Those who I’ve talked to have comforted me by telling me I got this. That I can handle it all because I’ve gotten this far. As I continue this new chapter, I hope to find my place in a city so large. I hope to keep working towards where I want to be in the music industry. I hope for the best.
Since I’ve been here, I’ve started to explore what I can. I’ve already had two friends visit and it means so much I got to see them as it brings a sense of home. Of course, I’m finding my way into the music scene. Besides managing my own shows at my new venues, I’m starting to track different shows and events I want to go to. There’s still so much to do. From hiking, art museums, to all the basic tourist attractions, I’m going to work my way to see what it’s all about. I saw Paramore perform at The Forum on my third day in L.A., and best believe there were tears during the show. I can talk about them all day, but seeing a band whom I’ve grown up with perform songs that hit me so hard was a moment! Hearing “Hard Times,” “Misguided Ghosts,” “26,” and “Ain’t It Fun,” all have themes that relate to this chapter in my life.
Don’t go crying to your mama
‘Cause you’re on your own in the real world
Ain’t it fun, ain’t it fun
Baby now you’re one of us
“Ain’t It Fun“- Paramore
Wow… Hayley Williams was really telling the crowd about my quarter life crisis! My birthday was last week and I couldn’t help but reflect on how much has changed in a short amount of time. Now in my mid 20s, it really makes you think about where you are, what you want, and the people you want to surround yourself with. I try to be present in the now and not to worry too much about the future mainly because my anxiety can’t handle all that right now.
We’ll see in due time how L.A. treats me, but for right now, so far…it’s alright.