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Lifestyle

A Start

Hi. Happy New Year? Even though it’s February… I’m not sure where this will go, but I figured I would start writing. I just needed to do something. I want to create some goals. Things to work on that’ll overall improve my happiness. I want to get better. Trying to figure out these goals has proven a bit difficult. At times I can be indecisive, so narrowing specific things down in this situation is quite hard. I have ideas of what I’d like to do…but I’ve hit a wall when it comes to actually executing them.


“And I wonder… do you know what it means… to find your dreams”

Scrolling on Twitter had me stumble across this


I wonder and I’m searching for inspiration. I know I want to create. I want to convey. I want to influence.  I’m trying to start over each day.  With the start of the new year, it’s clockwork for people to announce their resolution or goals. I did have a list last year, but I’m struggling to compose one for 2019. I almost still feel like I’m in 2018. Lagging behind, trying to figure out where to go next. Granted, at this same time last year my room was covered with lists and drawings and “where you do you want to see yourself in a year” handouts. This time around, it feels like I’m tying up loose ends from last year. The concepts of letting go and moving on are two of the most challenging things I’m dealing with lately. I had a two-week trip back to VA over the holidays, and it helped put some things in perspective for me. The time home was much needed and being around my family and friends just made my heart warm. I hit the 6 month mark of being in L.A. a couple weeks ago and that is still so wild to me. A place, a city I now live in still feels so foreign to me. Again, I know it’ll take time to adjust but moving across the country by yourself is so tough. Starting over, or finding a new start is one I know I needed, but its impact has hit me hard. Now, I know deep down better days are ahead and things won’t seem as dim as they do now so I have to power on. I try to show up everyday as best I can.

So here’s to a start.

More content & a new look to the site coming soon.

More things to look forward to soon.

Lastly, some music that’s been on my mind.

-A

Lifestyle

Let’s Try This Again (2017 Recap)

Reality will break your heart

Survival will not be the hardest part

26“- Paramore

Oh what a year 2017 has been. I feel that a significant portion of people have had that exact thought. 2017 was something else. For me, so unexpected. It seems like this year was so much longer than just twelve months. I joked with a friend the other day that 2017 felt like a decade. So many changes happened throughout this year that have me very reflective on it all. The world and time we’re living in is a very interesting place right now. This place… has proved difficult to be in. Whether it’s 45’s monstrosity of an administration, Al Gore’s innanet (yes you read that right) having its net neutrality repealed, the severeness of climate change, black lives still getting killed…IT’S A LOT.

So here’s an attempt to sort out what’s been in my head about how I feel about 2017.

I experienced heaven.

I experienced hell.

In the beginning of the year I had all the optimism in the world. Halfway through that same year, I could barely envision what tomorrow would be like. The vast contrast of these emotions baffles me at times.

I had my share of highs and lows, just like anyone else. However, this year in particular, I experienced a lot and had to learn from it. I learned what it felt like to not have control of my own body and be in some of the worst pain I’ve ever felt. I learned how our minds sometimes “can’t” handle our own reality and it’s hard to deal with. I learned the importance of communication and being vulnerable. I learned how sometimes you have to lose someone, in order to find yourself. The importance of being your true authentic self, without caring what others think. Realizing that life continues on in so many ways. Life is full of moments that range from happy to sad, pleasant and unpleasant, amazing and awful.

Life will still go on even when the people you want to be there in it with you, aren’t…and that’s okay.

Someone told me a couple months ago that I was becoming the Amira they knew I could always be. Just thinking about those words, makes me tear up every time. In the grand scheme of it all, 2017 was a year that I did have to find myself more. That alone took so much work. More work than anticipated.

The changes I had to make were ultimately for the better. At times, I’ll find myself referencing what the “old Amira” would do compared to the “new Amira.” This journey of more self- actualization isn’t just a quick fix. It’s a continuation. There have been weeks where I feel great and there are weeks where I feel down on myself. Somehow though… I keep pushing.  Anxiety and depression really took a toll on me throughout the year and I do my best to not let these things hinder me and continue to take the best care of myself that I can.

I want to say around my birthday in August, when I turned 24, there was a turning point. I feel that as I get older, my perspective on life just changes because…that’s life! The more I become an adult and do “grown” things, I just have to accept things and life as they are. That shift in perspective has been so important in this growth I’ve felt the latter half of 2017.

Progress Growth GIF by Insecure on HBO - Find & Share on GIPHY

Now there were some good times as well throughout the year, I can’t deny that. A few highlights that come to mind were that I:

  • Learned so much about myself, wants, needs, goals, and everything in between.
  • Worked Coachella for the second year in a row! I lost my voice on the first day, danced and sang my heart out to THE Lady Gaga both weekends. I ran after my shift ended to Kendrick Lamar’s set and was yelling the lyrics to “m.A.A.d. city,” while weaving through people to find a spot to watch him perform. I reconnected with old festival buddies and made some new ones.
  • Flew out to California for my birthday and visited my brother and sister-in-law in their new home. I had amazing food, wine and important quality time with the two dogs and one cat in the house.
  • Met one of my *favorite* bands, Paramore, and saw them perform in my city. I held back tears as I frantically explained how much I love them and that they’re a huge inspiration to me (Hayley and I had on matching leather jackets…a true moment).
  • Found out my brother and sister-in-law are expecting which means I’LL BE AN AUNT THIS YEAR. I’m ready to spoil this baby with all the gifts.
  • Received a long awaited raise at work (the music industry is still tough y’all).

do hope and know that 2018 will be better. Things will fall into place and make sense. I feel it so much that change for the good will happen.

There’s a lot I want to accomplish this year, and these first couple weeks of the new year have been composed of me planning it all out. A quick visual of what this has looked like: lots of writing in 3 different journals, writing for the blog, budgeting EVERYTHING, taking frequent breaks to watch 90s music videos, and trying to create something out of all these ideas in my head.

So here’s to a year with less tears, less hurting, less overthinking, more laughing, more dancing, more late night drives blasting music, lots of traveling, expressing my crazy self, and most importantly: more life.

I’m ready for ya.

It’s gonna take a bit of work

“Work”- Charlotte Day Wilson

 

(shoutout to those who have stuck by my side)

Lifestyle Travel

Turning 24 In Sonoma

I turned 24 on August 28.

Crazy, right?

Upon reflecting on this past year, a lot of growth and change has happened. Some of which was hard to deal with, but that’s life. I have felt really good lately and am excited to see what this year brings!

I knew I wanted to go to California to visit my brother and sister-in-law. I haven’t seen them since their wedding last October and was due for another trip! Every time I go to California, I fall more and more in love with it. There’s something about the mood it puts me in that is so satisfying. Wanting to utilize all the time possible during my 5 day trip, I tried to do and see as much as I could.

My read for the flight with Saturation II by Brockhampton on repeat

There were three things I had to do on this trip:

  1. Go wine tasting
  2. Get a tattoo
  3. Go hiking

I’m happy to report that I succeeded in these things and more!

 Day 1

I flew into Oakland, where my brother picked me up and we stopped to get some Thai food before driving into Sonoma. Prior to my flight I hadn’t slept in about 23 hours. Luckily, I can sleep on a plane with ease so I was able to get a few hours in. After settling in and being greeted with lots of kisses/jumping from my brother Dom, and sister-in-law, Jess’s, two lovely golden retrievers, it was time to make a plan for the night. Keeping it simple, we decided to go to one of their favorite spots, Rancho Maria. It’s a wine tasting room in the middle of Sonoma’s square (where a bunch of local shops and restaurants are located.) The wine maker, Sebastian, is super laid back and I got to pick some of the music for the room! A somewhat odd combination of Drake (of course), Missy Elliot, Cardi B, and Cozy Tapes 1 & 2 were played throughout the night. I would like to mention that I got Sebastian hip to Bodak Yellow. I even played it twice. Rancho Maria is known for their Zinfandel wines, and I must say it’s really good. After Rancho Maria, we hit up my *favorite* place, Whole Foods, to pick up items to BBQ with for dinner. Since I had spent a good portion of the day traveling, the night ended early for me as ya girl was tired!

Day 2

Waking up knowing I was in California was such an amazing feeling. Our second day consisted of exploring more of Sonoma and what this small town had to offer. We went back to the square, where we explored the multitude of shops. I stumbled upon one store, Love Sonoma, and knew my bank account would not be happy with me. It was the cutest, little store consisting of wall decor, prints, candles, books, clothes, and jewelry. A store like this was right up my alley! I picked up a few things that were local to Sonoma.

A visit to a local art gallery and another wine tasting room, Bennett Valley Cellars, took up the first part of the afternoon. Bennett Valley’s Tasting Room Manager, Liliana, was so sweet! I got to hear about her life in Italy before moving to the states. After a visit to the nail salon (#birthdaytings), the day continued with even more wine and shopping.

Once it came to dinnertime, I was excited to try out a place I found on Yelp, Taste of the Himalayas. From the reviews, the restaurant was pretty popular and a local favorite. The food was AMAZING and our waiter was super helpful in letting me know which dishes were vegan! We took home a bunch of leftovers because the food was so filling (we also did order 3 appetizers + entrees…so there’s that).

When I go back to visit, I’m definitely going here again!

Day 3

Sonoma is only about a 45 minute drive from San Francisco. I wanted to finally cross something off my bucket list and see the Golden Gate Bridge! We started the morning off, dogs in tow, trekking to the Marin Headlands area. The Headlands are on the peninsula that overlooks the Golden Gate Bridge and there are even a few trails to hike in the area. When we finally found a parking spot, I was in awe of the view! It was very foggy that morning and I couldn’t get the full view of the bridge, but was able to see a good portion of it. Due to one of the main trails being closed for maintenance, our hike was cut short, but nonetheless still a great time.

Needing some post-hiking food, fro-yo was obviously the best and healthiest choice (I was very hype about this.) We went to Pressed Juicery which is one of those places I’ve seen all over Instagram, and got one of their “freezes”— basically their version of fro-yo, but vegan.

After getting back into Sonoma, we chilled for a bit, and headed out to a winery (you already know that was gonna be in the plans for today). Dom and Jess are members of a handful of wineries in the area, and we decided to go to one of my favorites, Larson Family Winery. Last summer, I flew out to CA for Jess’ bridal shower and Larson was one the spots we went to. They have such a pretty outdoor area for tasting and a picnic-like setting. There’s even a bocce ball court that I low key dominated in during the bridal shower.

Day 4 (AKA 24TH BIRTHDAY LITUATION)

So I guess turning 24 means that I am now in my “mid-twenties.” This makes me feel old (ha). Waking up to birthday greetings from my people on the east coast was a nice way to start off the day. The embarrassing pictures of me posted mainly to Instagram and Snapchat from my closest friends kept me laughing and helped bring some of my nervousness down. I was excited yet nervous, because this year my gift to myself was a tattoo! My first one, in fact. I found a tattoo shop in Sonoma and talked to their owner about my idea a couple weeks prior to my trip. Dom and Jess kept me calm, as I filled out the paperwork and it set in that I was going to get tatted (so dramatic.) My tattoo was fairly simple. The latin phrase, deus ex machina, handwritten by me on the back of my arm. There’s a lot of meaning I attribute to this phrase, but to keep it short, it’s a reference to one of my favorite movies, Donnie Darko. Getting the tattoo done was definitely an experience. I kind of knew what to expect pain wise but still didn’t really know because I never had one done. I will say though, it was bearable. My brother joked that I kept making faces during the process (which took probably less than 5 minutes). Once I was bandaged up, we went to (you guessed it), more wineries!

Laughing through the pain

Fresh ink on the back of my right arm

The last winery I visited on this trip was to Schug Winery. Dom and Jess are friends with the Manager of Hospitality there, Harrison. When we told him it was my first time out here and my birthday, he gave us an impromptu tour of the winery! This isn’t normally done, so it was cool to get a behind the scenes look at everything. We took a tour of the land the winery owns, saw the almost catacomb like storage of all the barrels, and tasted some fancy wines! Shoutout to Harrison for gifting me a bottle of their Rouge de Noirs, a sparkling pinot noir (which was my favorite wine I tried there) and knowing who Brand New was.

A nice pano shot for ya

Leaving Schug, it was time to start getting ready for my birthday dinner! I didn’t want anything outrageous, simply dinner with Dom, Jess, and Jess’s parents. However, with it being me, I had to be extra and go all out on my outfit. While waiting on Jess’ parents to meet up with us, we stopped by SIGH., a new “bubbles only” bar. My younger brother, Jordan, who couldn’t make this trip sent funds via Venmo so he could buy me a birthday drink (so nice) and this was the perfect place to have one at. SIGH. only serves champagne, wine, and a few select beers. A crisp, open, yet small space that was full of mirrored quotes…the aesthetic of it all gave me LIFE!

My favorites

A glass of sparkling wine and champagne later, Jess’ parents joined us and we went to The Girl & The Fig. This restaurant was a last minute pick, and I didn’t have a chance to look over the menu. Unfortunately, there weren’t any vegan entrees, but our waiter worked it out with the chef and they made me a custom meal. It felt so nice being with my family out there and Jess’ parents not so casually mentioning how I should move to California!

Celebrated the start of year 24 in California! ✨??‍??? #birthdaybehavior

A post shared by Amira Taylor (@amirataylor) on

Day 5

After a very eventful few days in Sonoma, my time there soon came to an end. A flight leaving from Oakland the next day in the early afternoon, only left enough time to finish packing and hanging out with the pets. I’ve been plotting my next trip already (can never stay put for too long!) and will hopefully be heading out to L.A. and the Bay area right around Christmas time.

If there was any indication of how much fun I had, I went to Patient First the next day and found out I sprained my ankle. Whoo!

Lifestyle Travel

For The Culture- A Day At The NMAAHC

Simply put: one day at the National Museum for African American History and Culture (NMAAHC) is not enough. At all. I’m amazed at how much I saw and have been wanting to go back ever since! I went up to the D.C. area for Fourth of July weekend. With my office being closed that Monday-Wednesday, I took the opportunity to plan this last minute trip and enjoy the extra long weekend. My family and I got to the museum around 11am, taking the metro into D.C. Just the structure of the museum is astonishing. Ever since it has opened, it has been on my list of never-ending things to do in D.C.

After getting into the museum, my mom, brother, and I decided to start of with the lower level concourse that has three levels within itself. My dad decided to check out the Family History Center part of the museum. I knew there was a lot to be seen and quickly realized we would be at the museum until it closed at 5:30pm that day.

An overwhelming amount of history surrounds you when making your way to the different levels. The lower level layout of the NMAAHC on starts off with slavery and progresses to the present day. It’s divided as: Slavery and Freedom (1400-1877), Defending Freedom, Defining Freedom, The End of Segregation (1876-1968), and A Changing America: 1968 and Beyond.

Spending about three hours on the lower level, I felt a wide range of emotions. Seeing a visual progression that Black people have made throughout time is so amazing. I even got teary-eyed looking at some exhibitions because it didn’t hide anything; the truth and history was laid out right in front of me. Everything from the slave trade to the civil rights movement to present day issues, the NMAAHC covers it all. One of the most profound moments was seeing Emmett Till’s casket. In a more secluded section on one of the levels, in a no camera/video area, showcased Till’s casket, his background, and how his mother, Mamie Till, carried on his story after his death. A setting like that is so rare to come across and I’m glad I was able to view it.

Halfway through our time there, the fam and I had lunch at NMAAHC’s very own Sweet Home Cafe. The food is bomb and isn’t priced too bad. The menu is divided up based on different areas of the states and dishes you would find in those places.

After stopping by the museum store to pick up some souvenirs (I of course had to get a t-shirt), we headed up to the Community and Culture Galleries. These two levels had some of my favorite exhibitions. Being the person I am, I was soooo excited to view the arts and music section where artists’ work was highlighted and shown. Working in the music industry as a half Black, half Filipina woman has had its challenges. However, being surrounded by all the work these great artists have made and what impact it has, was comforting and reminded me that I’m doing alright.

Pretty much the whole time I was in the NMAAHC the thought of, “I love Black people,” kept coming to mind. It’s almost hard to put into words, how there’s finally a place where this culture is being celebrated and getting the attention it rightfully deserves. Being surrounded by so many people from different states and backgrounds was nice to see as well. A very inspiring place to visit to say the least and a bunch to soak in.

Always finding the records!

Being in an environment like this really does make you think. Think of where we are now. Think of how while there has been progression, there is still so much work to do. In lieu of recent events, specifically in Charlottesville, Va there’s still an alarming (yet not surprising) amount of racism, hatred, and straight up terrorism going on in our country. It’s been frustrating to see what has evolved the past couple days in the U.S. Frustrating of how a person can hate someone so much just because of their skin color. I know this isn’t new (and if it is to you…you’re apart of the problem), but it’s times like this where you really reflect on the state of humanity.

For the sake of my mental health, I wanted to channel some of the frustration I have been feeling with all of this and reminisce on something good; this trip to the NMAAHC specifically. At the end of the day, I wanted to just think about how great Black people are through everything.

If you have the chance to visit the NMAAHC, I do definitely recommend it. Also, try to get a pass for the morning/early afternoon. You’re going to want to spend the entire day there!

It looks like I’ll be back in D.C. in a few weeks for Labor Day. Let’s see what new places I explore then!

 

Lifestyle

Hard Times

All that I want

Is to wake up fine

Tell me that I’m alright

That I ain’t gonna die

I’ve been thinking about change a lot.

This year has taken a turn in a way I didn’t expect. It changed.

Over halfway through 2017 and I’m struggling to deal with all of it. In various facets of my life, an overwhelming amount of change has me feeling lost.

I wonder why. Why is all of this happening now? I think of the timing of situations often and with me being me, I try to figure out what went wrong. At times it’s too much. At times I feel stuck and don’t know how I’m going to move forward. I had a handful of goals in the beginning of the year and they are still things I want to accomplish. However, those goals feel different now. I have to approach them in another way and am finding inspiration to reach them again.

The past couple months haven’t been the best. In fact, it is probably the lowest I’ve felt in a while. And I’ve been pretty honest about that when people as of late ask me, “how are you?” In order to be more in tune with my emotions and what I’m going through, I don’t want to mask it at all. I don’t see how that’ll help me progress with anything. So instead, I’ve been embracing them. Embracing that yes, this is a difficult time for me. Embracing that my emotions are valid. Embracing that I’m just person trying to get through life. With that embrace also comes acceptance. Acceptance in that I can’t change everything. I can’t change what has happened in the past. I can’t change that even on the days where I want the world to stop…it’s still going to continue on.

Through this acceptance has also come a lot of reflection and learning how to grow from it. This isn’t an overnight thing at all. It’ll take time and I’m doing my best to work through it. Self-care has been key in all of this. Whether it be my health or personal issues, making sure I’m doing what I can to take care of myself is essential. Hiking, face masks, yoga, writing, blasting sad songs… these are just a handful of things that seem to be helping. And it goes more into just doing things that make me feel better. It’s also actively working on myself, so that there’s an actual change on the inside.

The song I quoted at the start of this post, “Hard Times,” comes from one of my favorite bands, Paramore. Coincidentally this album came out around the “start” of this hard time for me. Whenever I’m going through anything really, happy or sad, music is always something I turn to. Recently, a lot of Paramore, SZA, Lorde, Halsey, and Haim have been in rotation. Multiple song lyrics have been mantras for me in a sense and I’ve repeating (and singing…very poorly) those daily.

As Big Sean would say,

Last night took an L, but tonight I bounce back

It seems like I’ve taken WAY TOO MANY Ls in 2017 and yet again, I have to find a way to bounce back.  In this “I have no idea what’s going on in my life” phase, I find myself focusing on the things I want. I’m planning trips, working out (& reaching my goals!), building the career I want, and just overall finding happiness again.

I recently read an interview Hayley Williams of Paramore did and there was one quote that has stuck with me and has changed my perspective of things the past few weeks.

Everything’s gonna be everything

When I read that…I had a bit of a lightbulb moment. Things in life are going to happen, but everything will be okay. Everything’s gonna be everything and it will still be amazing.

Now with all that being said, I’m excited to put content out there again (for real this time)! Expect posts about my travels, music I’m into, and whatever is going on in this wandering mind of mine.

Huge shoutout to my lovely friend, Nicole, for taking such great pictures of me for the site!